the truth is, i want to do too many things. a no caps special.

worked today. played videogames. magic the gathering. stayed up way too late. still up, in fact.

i'm writing in no caps to express how much i feel that it is hard to write something of worth for me anymore. is it working? did that sentence make any sense at all?

nacho keeps rolling in dead shit. my study smells like dead shit. maybe i should move that nasty sleeping bag out of here.

i keep watching that mark gormely video. why does that tune get stuck in my head?

i keep trying to think of a new niche to tackle in building a website that makes money with adsense. i'm not putting much effort into it yet... i will though. i will.

4:44am still not really ready to go to bed. thats what i get for sleeping till 12.

my usefulness goes in phases.

i decided today that i wanted to continue my zelda fanfiction. i posted it. got a good first review. a review that consisted of "good first chapter". i said thanks. shortly after that however, i took a look at other 'ocarina of time' specific zelda fanfictions. there were too many to count. a good number of which who were doing exactly the same sort of thing i was doing. a personal retelling. a novelization. a walkthrough, basically, with their own specific twists. some of these people are good writers, too. i'm not so sure that my version was any better...

so suddenly, don't feel like continuing that. doesn't mean i won't. just means... it was a much less original idea than i thought. why didn't i realize that before?

and why do i want to write my own sci-fi? i want to have technical knowledge, though. i guess i could just create my own technical knowledge.

the truth is, i want to do too many things.